I had a dream last night. It is, of course, a little hazy and a little faded now that I'm awake but a few things I remember clearly. In the dream I was, for some unknown reason, serving as a Eucharistic Minister but I kept messing things up. I wasn't saying the right words when I distributed the Blessed Sacrament, I nearly dropped our Lord twice, and I had a mixture of feelings... when I'd mess up my initial reaction was; It doesn't matter. and then this deep sense of guilt would overcome me. This is THE LORD, I'd say to myself and immediately I would try to correct my mistakes.
I was still serving when I woke up and the first thought that popped into my head was: I am NEVER serving as a Eucharistic Minister.
Dreams don't mean anything - but I can't help but wonder if this one has some underlying meaning. I have been struggling a little bit with the Eucharist. I'm not sure I fully understand it. I try to believe it, when I doubt I pull myself up just like I did in the dream. I'm not even sure if I should be receiving in this state of mentality but at the same hand doesn't everybody have some small measure of difficult accepting this particular doctrine at some time?
Anyway, that's my story.
I would state that you are right insofar as you imply that dreams are something you really need not pay much attention to in that regard. (I cannot recall at the moment the passage in Sirach which states the same thing, but no doubt you are familiar with it.) And certainly, I would state that you should most definitely continually receiving. Nobody fully understands this mystery, of course. Even though you have difficulties, please do not let that prevent you from receiving our Lord! There is nothing wrong with having difficulties. It can be difficult to contemplate, after all. I'm sure the Apostles had the same difficulties when they first heard Jesus' words in John 6. What is important is to respond, in spite of the difficulties, with the same response St. Peter gave (John 6:68). After all, as Cardinal Newman pointed out, ten thousand difficulties do not add up to a single doubt.
ReplyDeleteSorry if I am not able to explain myself well, but...
:) Thank you Mike. I needed to hear that for sure. Since I first received I have been really struggling, mostly because I'm not sure I fully understand the Eucharist and I just wasn't sure if I should partake when not fully understanding. Everytime I'd think: I should stop until I'm sure... the next thought in my head was: I absolutely shouldn't stop. Just like my dream. Haha.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how we can see our struggles in our dreams.
Take care!
the next thought in my head was: I absolutely shouldn't stop. Just like my dream. Haha
ReplyDelete:-). Definitely, do not stop receiving. Our Lord will assist you.
God bless!