Unworthy

As the incense rose towards the stark ceiling the priest's words repeated themselves inside my head; 'In baptism our brother died with Christ and we hope in death he will also share in Christ's resurrection.'

In that moment I was sure that Pa was indeed sharing in Christ's resurrection. The tears I had shed earlier were forgotten for one joyous moment. The incense completely overwhelmed my senses. As the casket was wheeled away I wanted to do nothing but kneel and praise our God. our wonderful, forgiving God.

We work out our salvation with fear and trembling. This week I realized that those who are confident in their salvation are blessed but perhaps they are also slightly immature in their spirituality. The reality is we are, none of us, worthy of our Lord's love. We are, none of us, worthy of salvation. We have no right to be in His presence, we have no right to receive any of His blessings. And yet there are some of us who have forgotten this.

This society lulls us into a false sense of entitlement and I can see it more and more in my Christian brothers and sisters. It doesn't surprise me when a non-Christian says; "What kind of evil God would damn people to hell?" It does surprise me when a Christian brother or sister expresses such a sentiment.

What kind of people demand ANYTHING of the Being that Created them?

What ungrateful, prideful, small minded creations we are.

I deserve nothing. I have earned nothing. My greatest deed on this earth amounts to nothing in the face of the glory of God. I can only work out my salvation with fear and trembling and hope, in the end, that He finds favor with me.

My best efforts, in the end, are miniscule. Thankfully our God does consider the intent of our heart so that when our efforts fall short He can still find the good. However, because He is forgiving, loving and kind does not mean I should take advantage of this. On the contrary I should work even harder to meet His expectations.

We cannot approach our faith with half of our heart. We cannot coast on God's love and make no more effort then is required. We must throw ourselves at God's feet mind, body and soul. Every action, every word, every thought must be focused on Him... this is the only way we can ever hope to be even slightly worthy of His grace.

Heavenly Father, I am not worthy to be in your presence. I have sinned, in my thoughts, in my words, in what I have done and what I have failed to do. I am broken and dirty, but if you would only say the word I will be clean. And perhaps in your infinite grace and mercy you will allow me to be in your shadow, for I know I am unworthy to meet you face to face. Even to be in your presence would be enough for this lowly servant. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, suffered and died for us, but we routinely mock His sacrifice with our hardened prideful hearts. If it is your will, help us to not be so blind so that your Sacrifice will not be so willfully dismissed. In the name of the Father who gave us breath, the Son who gave us hope and the Holy Spirit who comforts us. Amen.